Thursday, May 17, 2007

THE GREAT CANADIAN CLEANUP


Yes fellow citizens, it is time for an overhaul! I want all of you to go to his or her closets, drawers or heap and recycle donate and throw out! As a nation we have been getting away with looking like crap for far too long! In my day, you had work wear, weekend wear, and dress up. And never the twain shall meet! Nowadays I see fleece jackets over evening dresses and swim trunks as shorts. What happened, when did it get so relaxed? I think it was casual Fridays or as my friend Fleur says "Woodstock". Now we have got to get some rules back in place and they are simple.
Stop dressing like a soccer mom,unless you are a soccer mom and you are going to a soccer game!
Baseball hats as ponytail holders - STOP IT!
VISORS - Who the hell brought those back? And if you have to wear one (for sports only) don't work your hairdo around it. It is not a hair band!
BRA STRAPS WITH RACER BACK TANK TOPS - In my day that was trashy!
I SEE LONDON I SEE FRANCE I AM SICK OF SEEING YOUR UNDERPANTS! Men and woman stop this! Pull up your pants get a belt!
Unless you are a skater dude and you are under 21, stop wearing those skater dude culottes! They cut your legs in half and make them look like Little stumps!
Young men stop wearing baggy ass pants! This is the only time in your life that your bum is going to look good, so don't waste it!
Please throw away anything PLEATED - Why add bulk and poof?
If you have big calves, don't wear a Capri or crop pant, it's like you had to cut your pants just to get them on!
MESH ANYTHING - throw it away! Those mesh trucker hats make you look like a hillbilly prisoner.
HOCKEY JERSEYS are fun for the hockey game, but that is it!
And what is with those silky satin basketball shorts and tanks the boys are wearing? They look like grannies' underpants and they are always worn by boys who look like the only sport they play is "game boy".
Stop wearing LOGO t-shirts and corporate wear unless you are being paid!
I HATE YOGA PANTS (except for yoga) - basically PE clothes are for PE.
Is FLEECE the national fabric of Canada? I love that it is made from pop bottles but sheesh!
What is with that new I forgot my pants look? Leggings are not pants and leotards are not leggings!
I HATE NOVELTY JEANS!
TUBE TOPS! They make your boobs look like tubes!
HUNGRY BUM,you know when it looks like your ass is eating your pants.
I am not a prude but there is way too much skin going on out there, and for Zeus sake I don't want to see your SURREY LICENCE PLATE (lower back tattoo).
So c'mon citizens, lets do it! One mom jean at a time!



Comments:
Dear Brad - I'm still laughing over your recent submission. I never even knew what fleece was until Peggy Thompson told me. She calls it "Lint".

Thank God you got out of downtown or you'd really be upset. I have to cross Robson to get to work everyday and I cannot believe what I'm seeing. My motto is: "To wear Juicy, you gotta be juicy".

Surrey Licence plate is brilliant. The best I ever looked was when you worked at Le Chateau and dressed me. Thanks for that and the giggle. Jocelan
 
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