Monday, February 18, 2008


Why am I fascinated by this crap? Is it the car crash I can't take my eyes off? Or is my life so dull that I fixate on celebs? Am I jealous, or am I a journalist who has a duty to expose and comment on the important issues of the day? Yeah, that's it, I'm a journalist! Hey Britney, get a bra. We are sick of seeing your gonads and tits! Ex-con Paris Hilton has been celebrating her birthday all week instead of helping people like she promised. Is that a giant glass of warm piss she is sitting in? Daughter of "Xenu", Kirsti Alley, has been fired from "Jenny Craig" for being too fat! Scientology has some vigorous cleanse and they are not too keen on their members being fat. They need to put her and that big fat homo John Travolta on it! Why did Kate Moss leave Pete Doherty? Is it because he looks like a giant skidmark? Lindsay Lohen must smell like an ashtray - every time you see her she is sucking on a butt! And the beast that ate Detroit, Aretha Franklin, I can't stand her! How the hell is it possible that those tiny spaghetti straps can hold up those huge boobs? And fuck off with the fur! She looks like road kill. Does anyone really like that screechy gospel crap she sings? I loved it when Beyonce called Tina the queen and not her. Will someone please stick a pin in JLO - she looks like she is going to explode! I bet she will never get her figure back! Ace Reporter Blabbermouth signing off.

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